He knows my name...

I had such an amazing day at church yesterday. There is a song that means so much to me, 'He knows my name.' I looked down at the bulletin and saw that we would sing that song during prayer time and I couldnt help but tear up. I was flooded with memories from the last 2 years.
I remember when BJ and I first began to try for another baby. I was so hopeful that it would be easy... after about 6 months I went to the Dr and discovered that, like before I had Lillie, I was not ovulating. I remember crying on the phone with Bj at the drs bad news and us deciding to try the medicine. That sunday at church they played this song. The song says, "I have a Father who calls me his own, He'll never leave me, no matter where I go. He knows my name, he knows my every thought. He see's each tear that falls, and hears me when I call... He hears me when I call." I cried that day. It seems that I would hear the song over and over in this time of our life... I was mourning my inability to have another child. I knew that God could see my tears and hear my call and I wondered what He was thinking... what plans He had. Then we found out we were pregnant and when the Dr told us the baby wouldnt make it we were both so devistated. I remember being at church and during prayer time they played THIS song. I cried at the alter for my baby and for me.
Now, all these months later I found myself sitting in church crying again. I am just hours from having my little Summer Rose. The second blessed gift from God that I have wept and prayed for all these many many months. I used to hear the song and cry for Gods mercy on me. I would cry for His help and a way out of my situation. Now, I cried out of complete thankfulness.
He does know my name. He DOES know my every thought. He DOES see my tears. He DOES hear me when I call. I am so amazed and so grateful for our God. Through this journey I have come to understand the sovereignty of God, and I have come to understand what it feels like to be held by him.

Lord, I thank you. You have given me such an amazing life that is filled with Love. You have blessed me with an amazing family that I adore. I know that no matter what happens I will always love you and you will always love me. I can feel you with me in this time, and I thank you for protecting me and Summer through this pregnancy. Thank you for growing her and for taking her to full term. Tomorrow as we go to the hospital to have her, I ask that you continue to protect us. Surround me Lord in your peace. Be with Bj and I as we welcome this tiny blessing. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for hearing my cries. I love you.